LIVING: AROUND THE HOUSE WITH TABI UPTON

By Buddy Roberts

A conversation with Tabi Upton is an experience not to be missed.

Her modern-style home in a revitalized Chattanooga neighborhood (decorated with fresh flowers, ethnic art, and curiosities she’s picked up on her travels) offers a convivial setting for sipping a mug of green tea, settling in with some mood music, and listening to the child and adolescent therapist talk about her work and reminisce about her time as a Peace Corps volunteer.

Her beginnings as a counselor: “I decided to be a psychologist when I was 15. I’d taken a psychology course in high school, and I tended to be the kind of person my peers would talk to when they had a problem. I thought it would be kind of cool to do it for a living. Little did I realize how bruising it would be.”

Bruising? “It can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. You can be wiped out at the end of the day. I don’t feel like I take cases home a lot, but some you do. I want to be a good therapist, and I’m constantly thinking of how to improve. I always struggle with whether I really am being helpful. It gets very mentally and emotionally involving, which is why I do it part-time. When I do it less, I feel like I’m able to make more of an impact.”

Making an impact: “As difficult as it can be, it is fulfilling, too. Working with kids and watching them grow up is really interesting and very rewarding.”

Her background: A native of Sweetwater (“I was born there but never lived there”), she grew up in Rhea and Hamilton Counties, graduating from Tyner High School before earning a degree from Biola University in California, joining the Peace Corps, and spending two years in Senegal.

Why she joined the Peace Corps: “I always wanted to live in Africa, and when multiculturalism and political correctness came in during the early 90s, I got tired of hearing black people talking about their African heritage when they’d never been there. I wanted to go there and discover my roots.”

How she served: As a health volunteer. One of her projects involved opening an educational room in a village clinic. “We provided books about nutrition and murals for those who could not read or write. We also worked with the educated in the village, teaching them how to do health and nutrition talks to others. Our work was that of organizers, pulling people together to get things done, but as so often happens in the Third World, the clinic is closed now.”

About Senegal: Despite its impoverished conditions, “it’s one of the most exotic places on the planet.” On Africa’s Atlantic coast, the country sits on the southwestern edge of the Sahara. “It’s hot, sandy, and drab but full of people with bright, beautiful clothes who were very gracious and hospitable to me. I ate with strangers several times and was sometimes invited to spend the night with a family just because they thought I was interesting.”

The native tongue: French is the official language of Senegal, and Pulaar was spoken in the Fulani village where she lived and worked. “I never became fluent, but I learned to the point that I was comfortable speaking it.”

What she learned from the experience: “To endure. African women are the strongest women on Earth. They work all day and try to take care of their children and deal with husbands who leave for months to find work. Their lives are often full of sorrow, but they’re very strong people. There were times when I wanted to go home, and there were people who did go home early, but I feel proud that I stuck it out.”

The cultural exchange: “It got lonely, it was hot, and the work could be drudgery, but I learned new ways of living and doing things. I made a connection with people of a different culture and got to know them.”

Her role models: “I really admire older black women, like Dorothy Hyatt, who started social action clubs. I admire what they overcame to speak out. My grandmother was like that too, and I think I’m like her. She spoke her mind, and if someone told her she couldn’t do something, she did it anyway. I admire those women in the segregated South who didn’t see obstacles and had the consciousness and vision to change. I want to be like them.”

How she describes herself: “I am difficult to pin down on that. On the street, I think what people see is a single black woman, but I would say I’m an outgoing person who loves people and to do different things, full of ironies and influenced by a lot of different things. Part of me is also shy. I tend to hide parts of myself from people until I trust them.”

The best advice she ever received: “When I was in college, my father told me to go meet the president of the school. I asked what I should say, and he told me, ‘Just introduce yourself. He needs to know you, and you need to know him.’ So I did, and the president remembered me when we met again later. My father’s point was that you should know the powerful people around you while remembering that you’re equal to them.”

R&R: “I love my friends, going to the movies, and walks on the Riverpark.”

At the movies: “I love animation. When my niece and nephew are in town, I take them, but I would go by myself. I like light stuff – drama, chick flicks, and sci-fi like X-Men and The Lord of the Rings. Movies about abuse and violence are not entertaining to me. I want to get away from it because I see it all the time. That’s not entertainment.”

In her CD player: Norah Jones, gospel, contemporary Christian, classical piano, and world music. “I like calming music,” which explains why “I can’t listen to hip-hop.”

Her favorite record album, meal, and book: A collection of inspirational gospel music, Thai noodles with avocado, and the Bible.

On her bookshelves: Hemingway, self-help and spirituality books, The Chronicles of Narnia, general light fiction, and historical fiction dealing with the antebellum period and the Civil War. “I also have North and South on video. It’s an odd thing for a black woman in the South to have, but I loved that drama.”

Tabi Upton Style: “I’m a jeans person, but I enjoy dressing up for a party, too. I actually don’t have as many clothes as most women I know. I prefer to buy a household item instead.”